Warning: This may include you.
I get so irritated when people try and tell me that I should be married by the time I'm 22. I've heard more lessons and discussions directed towards me about how I'm not in a relationship now and I should be lookingfor Mr. Right.
You wanna know why I DON'T want to get married.
Lets see here...
- I'm in school full time.
- I want to be in line for a good career by my third or fourth year of college.
- I'd like to be stable financially (as much is as possible)
- And sex isn't that important to me.
That's right. I said it. Sex isn't that important.
By now you should know that I've been raised in church (at least if you've read any of my previous blogs) and I truly believe you should abstain from sex before your married (and I could get off on a whole topic on what is and isn't considered abstaining).
So, that's all easy right?!
Apparently not.
I get so bothered by the fact that half of my peers within the church are married and the other half are in a really serious relationship. What's wrong with MY generation!
Can you not keep it in your pants?!
Marriage shouldn't just be for the sex you want. Oh wait, the lovemaking. Guess I should be politically correct huh? It should be because you truly love the person and you want nothing more than to make them happy. That seems to be the reason for most of the people I know but I always wonder...
Maybe I'm a crazy anomaly to the Christian bubble.
Or maybe I'm halfway right....
Short Answer: No. They can't.
ReplyDeleteLong Answer: I wouldn't get all worked up about it. Sex is a tempestuous thing as much as it is a wonderful gift in it's set context, and I believe you see people getting married younger because it *is* really that hard for people to 'keep it in their pants.' Maybe this would help to put it in perspective:
Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. - 1 Cor 7:1-7
This certainly is not a new problem; even Paul acknowledged it. What's perhaps best is that he is also aware of your position, and offers what I think to be a reasonable position to rest at:
But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. - 1 Cor 7:8-9
Paul was single, and commented at various points at how effective his ministry was because, in part, of his singleness. That's not at all to say that married couples will have a diminished part in that: I'm sure you know plenty of married couples who's lives are a strong testimony to the Christian witness. It is, however, in part an effective means to avoid 'burning with passion' as Paul so adequately put it, which does work against our purpose. Big-time.
And I'm sure the subset of people who are considering those biblical points I am making probably aren't the ones you are targeting in this, but, y'know. It also sounds to me like your gift of self-control is strong; use that to your advantage as you continue through all of this.
- Anthony