To: <3

I am confessing; I cannot stop loving you.
In case you forgot, you own a piece of my heart. I refuse to steal it back.
I hope you know the pain induced by this.
I cannot say I do not welcome this pain though, as it is perfect love.
Do you ache as I do? Do you realize what you hold in your hand?
Who can explain to you what you have in those small hands? Not I.

I am confessing; I will not stop loving you.
I willed these pieces to you. Are you holding tight to them still?
Are you caring for it? Nurturing it?
Maybe one day I'll find these pieces again. Or maybe, you will keep them for all eternity.
I find no problem with that plan.
I wanted you to know everything, from the depths of what heart I have left.



This is the first time I've written anything resembling prose poetry in almost 4 years. It came from a conversation with my best friend. The original is below. (It spurned from nowhere, to tell her how much I love her as a friend.)
CatielynnB: I'm having a hard time.
CatielynnB: but I just can't stop loving you
CatielynnB: it's just a well known fact
CatielynnB: that when someone owns a piece of your heart
CatielynnB: you can't just steal it back
CatielynnB: otherwise, they'll have an achy feeling
CatielynnB: they may not know where it came from
CatielynnB: or why it's there
CatielynnB: but they'll know
CatielynnB: that's why I'm leaving a part of my heart
CatielynnB: in your hands
CatielynnB: to care for
CatielynnB: and nurture
CatielynnB: and maybe one day, you'll give it back
CatielynnB: or maybe, you'll keep it for the rest of eternity
CatielynnB: and I have no problem with that whatsoever.
CatielynnB: I just wanted you to know
CatielynnB: from the depths of my heart
Her: o.o
(which is probably the best response ever. :D)

The Restless Soul is Searching

I realized that after Wednesday night I confide a lot in my best friend Nikki, and for that, I am eternally grateful. She has done so much, not only with but for me, that I cannot repay her. Not to lie to myself, but I have a handful of best friends, and I can trust them with anything and everything.

(1,000 times I’ve fell/Still your mercy remains/Should I stumble again/Still I ‘m calling your grace/Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades/Never-ending your glory goes beyond all fame/Your will above all else/My purpose remains/The art of losing myself/In bringing you praise/Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades/Never-ending your glory goes beyond all fame/My hear and my soul/I give you control/Consume me from the inside out...)

When I cannot find someone to tell, to talk to, to let it all out I realize how much I've become introverted on some things more than I used to be. It is slowly scaring me to silence. Which is unnatural for the girl who can talk to a brick wall.

I remember making a choice just over a year ago now.
And you know what, it'd days like today where I wish I could repair that trust and everything... but, she's changed. I've changed. And that's what gets to me.

I want to openly thank Nikki. I love her to death.
Rachael too, and Katie, and Katherine Jean (even though she was just in an accident), Katelyn and Adam too. Outside of that, Mycah, Emily and Angel, you guys are spectacular too.

-Much love
-C